Sunday, August 31, 2008

A Girl Like Me is Impossible To Find

The old packaging of Herbal Essences... TO...
The new packaging!!!

I tried to console myself by going on a hiatus but then I realized that I could never really stop blogging. I love writing or in this case blogging and it’s the only thing besides my parents, friends and Precious that makes me happy. Friday came and gone and I miss us. I haven’t been to 1U for more than a week. Intend to push my luck till 2 weeks! Oh, GOSSIP GIRL SEASON 2 IS BACK TOMORROW!!!! *yay*

Well, I’m slowly getting better. Much better now, though I have no idea, who I’ll drag to the hospital and clinic for those embarrassing hospital visits and especially to my gynae. Well, they’re having fun in US and no point of me being sad. Might as well have fun!! Padrekins is coming back soon! Can’t wait to see what he got me!

Puasa is here. I remember that I’ll puasa and because of Ili, I’ll always end up eating!! No, I’m not Muslim but I’ve been fasting every year since forever and I’m sort of used to it. This is the first year that I’m going to fast the whole bloody month without the little shrimp begging/ threatening me to eat! The best part, SHE’S the Muslim!!

Oh, have you ever been in a situation where you love something but like another thing? Or when you love someone but like someone else? Don’t worry; I’m not talking about my love life but more of my shampoo!!! LOL! I’ve been a faithful user of Herbal Essences, like I mentioned in my previous posts and did anyone notice the new packaging?

I’m not complaining but I LOVE the old packaging!!! *wails* I love the transparent bottle filled with yellow or pink liquid that makes your head smells like a bloody garden! However, I tried the new bottle. I’ve got no idea whether they change the formula or not but after 1 whole day, my head still smells like a garden and I LIKE it! The smell is stronger but the bottle isn’t pretty like the old ones and it’s more expensive and it doesn’t come in the 750ml bottle!!!

Have you ever thought that you knew someone well enough to be together with but in the end you realized that you don’t really know the person that you’re together with at all? Ok, now I’m talking about my love life. Just when I really fall in love with this guy, he turned out to be someone else. Maybe we got together in such a rush that we confused lust with love. Nevertheless, I LOVED him. Or at least the person he was trying to be. I’m waiting for the 3rd strike before I end it all and presently, I’m short of 1 more reason!

Now I’m so distracted, THANK GOD!! After my 1 week break, I’ll have to prepare for 2 presentations, one 2000 words essay, 1500 words essay, and 6 weeks’ worth of Consumer Behavior questions! I’ll have to finish reading 5 articles, and 3 books! Looks like I’ll be going to Australia the following year not next year. I have so many things to do its crazy! I have to take Precious to the vet because I suspect he has an inflammation in his skin.

XY is planning a girly Tea Party and I hope that this plan finally materializes unlike our Ipoh trip!!! *ahem* and I plan to meet Shi Nee and Bree. I hate it that I’m craving for so many things right now! Like I’m some pregnant women! Right now, I’m craving for pizza (all Musaab’s fault!), Paddingtons, Winter Warmers, and a good comforting box of Siroopwafelen! The weather has been unkind lately and after I got caught in the rain last week, and with XY planning a tea party, I would really love my siroopwafelen to be served with my warm tea. Ahhh….. bliss!

Some noteworthy songs:

You Make It Real – James Morrison
Lucky – Jason Mraz feat Colbie Caillat
Fall For You – Secondhand Serenade
Like Only A Woman Can – Brian McFadden
All Summer Long – Kid Rock

~you know you love me~
Michelle May

Monday, August 25, 2008


I don't mean to be emo here. I need to get over it. I need to move on. I need to start having fun. I need to be out there.

This blog and my MSN Spaces one will be on a hiatus until I get over it. So, just check this blog out as this is the only blog I'll be updating This is not my permanent blog but look out for my birthday list!!

Was watching Good Luck Chuck yesterday and one line stuck in my head... "If you truly love them, set them free... Let them go..." Just a food for thought... I seriously feel like giving up. Maybe i'm just experiencing moments of weakness right now but... giving up sounds so tempting!

Just as I almost got over it, I broke down again... This time for the wrong reasons... I'm sick and tired that i'm the only one that has to compromise... And he's tired about it since he's studying and all... The one decision in my life and we're suffering... Somehow, it felt so right... and yet it's so wrong.. Till then, enjoy my absence...

~you know you love me~
Michelle May

Friday, August 22, 2008

Together we cried!

Today I cried. Together we cried. Today is THE day we send Ili and Ann off. We ( Shi Nee and I) spent the whole morning wrapping Ili’s gifts! Then Soon Seng picked us up and we went to KLIA. Ili was there with AT, her mom, her dad, her grandma, cousins, etc while Ann was there with her mom, dad, and bro.

Everyone was lost and blur because I doubt it that they could accept the fact that they’re leaving. All Ili did was hugged her family members and all. Ann doesn’t seem bothered (maybe she’s on drugs again!) but Ili was a real wreck!

I still remember when the 3 of us was discussing about what to do, how to react when Ili leaves, I remember clearly there were still 8 months. Then it became 9 weeks, and the next thing I know, Ann called up and wanted to meet because it’s the LAST FRIDAY.

I saw how families react when one of them leaves. I have no idea how mine will react when I leave. Maybe they’ll be like Ann’s mom who saw her until she boarded the plane, or maybe like Ili’s mom who left after Ili was out of sight?

It just hurts so bad that I held little Ili there and I feel that if I let her go, she won’t come back. I was already contemplating whether to scream “Jihad!! Bomb on the plane!!!” just to stop her from going. I saw her as she hugged Shi Nee, I saw her cry. Maybe Shi Nee feels the way I do. Maybe we thought that if we let her go, she’ll forget us.

There’s so many might have been or could have been and Ili is no longer part of it. After she boarded the plane, I realized that it’s only Shi Nee and I. We were at 1U and we weren’t hungry but somehow, we were just trying to use food to fill up our emptiness, the space where Ili used to be.

We talked about what happens when she’s over there. Will she replace us? Will we see pictures of her and blonde, white people having so much fun on Facebook? Will she find new friends and they will have a secret code, something that only they would understand? (Something that she used to share with us!)

Sometimes, people change. Change is inevitable. I hate it that some people don’t understand change. We cannot go back to the way we were back in high school and can’t they just accept it? Can’t they also accept that people change? People who may be your friends back in high school may not be your friends right now? So, why try so hard?

I’m just so angry and sad and depressed that I actually bought a Mercedes Benz polo for Padrekins for no reason! And even though it was on sale, it was still a little pricey! I learnt my lesson, when upset, never, ever, ever, go into a mall!!! Padrekins better appreciate it!! I mean, it’s so much better than the Hypertune polo that he wears all the time! Besides, he’s a fan of MB!!

Ili, if you’re reading this, things didn’t quite go our way. We thought of eating our usual Pesto with Chargrilled Chicken at Ms. Read and for the first time in many years we’ve been there, they ran out of Pesto!! UNFUCKINGBELIEVEABLE!!! And where ever we go, we think about you! Because of you, we’ve to stay away from 1U!!

Oh, And Ann, while waiting for Shi Nee’s bro to pick us up, we kept seeing the same white Kelisa that looks like your car! And we can’t stop thinking about you when you’re most probably half way on your transit to Taiwan and then US!

We already miss you guys so much! Will be attending Soon Seng’s party tomorrow and who’s gonna pout and pose those Indian poses? Who’s gonna demand their picture to be taken at a non-existent good angle? Who’s going to say Sean D Paul, and Oh-Kaaay? Who’s gonna crop everyone out of the picture?

Next week will be the first time I’ll cry for a guy. Boyfy is leaving soon and unlike THE EX, who just leaves whenever we have a fight, I have not cried for him. I told myself I won’t cry when Ili leaves because she said we’re just babies! And yet, I cried, so, I guess, I’m going to cry when he leaves!

I was brought up to not cry at airports because Padrekins was always away when I was young but the thought of the people I love so far away, and anything can change. I love boyfy a lot and I need him around. I mean, we both got into this relationship knowing that it would be long distance. And yet, it still hurts so bad! My BFF left, now my BF is leaving too?

All we could say is, “promise me you’ll love me?” or just, “I love you” Those words will never be able to replace you being here, with me. I know everyone have to leave. If they had the choice, I’m certain they’ll stay. I’m not going to be selfish and demand them to stay.

I’m just going to pray and hope that despite the distance between us, we’ll still love each other. And we’ll love each other forever. As I’m typing this, I hate myself. I HAVE to stop crying. I WILL not succumb to moments of weakness.

Maybe months from now, I’m wishing that I could hug you. I could tell you things. I could be with you, to feel you next to me. But I’ll have to wait. And wait, I shall. Patiently waiting till you come back!! And Darling, when you do, it makes our wait all worth it!!

Till then, little things will remind me of you. Little songs will make me cry. Strangers walking by with a whiff of your perfume will make me turn and look for you. Places that we ate together, gossiping, laughing and getting wasted will no longer make me laugh. I need to stop crying!!!! Shyte!! Anyways, pictures of Ili/Ann’s Farewell and KDUCF Event are in my SPACES PHOTO ALBUM!!!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

21 Plans!!

I’m dead. Lost and falling deeper and faster into a dark abyss. As I fell, I asked God to give me love and show me the meaning of life. Falling into oblivion, I was so sure about whom I am until you found me. You brought me back to life.

God didn’t just give me love or gave me happy feeling but instead He gave me an opportunity to meet you and instead fall in love with you. I’m no longer falling into an abyss but falling for you. Somehow, you just make me feel happy and most importantly, I feel loved. Maybe I haven’t said it to you but I Love You. Ich Liebe Dich. Te Amour. Te Quierro.

Anyways, I’m so happy that malls are flooded with moon cakes. When I was younger, Madrekins used to tell me that, “Girl, when you see moon cakes everywhere that means your birthday will come soon!” I used to get real excited when I see moon cakes!!

Believe or not, I’ve never had a birthday party growing up. Padrekins were never around so normally grandma and grandpa will throw a little family celebration. It wasn’t a sad attempt but it was meaningful. Now, with my beloved grandpa gone and grandma is sick and old, my birthday is just an excuse for dinner with grandma.

Dinner is just Chinese food and not what I would normally eat but it’s what grandma would eat. I’m not complaining, Just that I love grandma a lot and petty little sacrifices such as eating her favorite food on my birthday is ok and I do it willingly.

There’s something that’s so enthralling about turning 21 that I feel it’s so overrated. I mean, in this 1 month, I attended 3 21st birthday celebrations! Everyone is like making it as if 21st birthdays are a MUST for big parties and all!! What about people like me who has no interest what so ever in celebrating my OWN 21st?

I just don’t feel like it, not because I’m anti social, but Ili and Ann isn’t here, Boyfy isn’t here, Grandpa isn’t here, and maybe the most is just a little lunch with Shi Nee. That’s all. I’ve never had a birthday party before and I have no desire on knowing what I’m supposedly “missing” out on! I’m still thinking really hard what I want for my birthday.

Padrekins went back to NY often and got me lots of stuff and there’s nothing I would exactly want in Malaysia anymore! Maybe I’ll want something practical… What I want the most is a hard to find CD of Templeton Thompson. And maybe a Coach pretty little enamel bracelet! Or maybe an iPod since mine is almost dead!

If not it’ll probably be books again! It’s ok but it’s affordable for anyone who wants to get me a gift. I seriously need to reconsider my options. I need to be less expensive… Even Xiying is planning a big do that consist of a tea party and girly stuff! Even Parentals are asking what I want to do for my birthday! Sigh.

It’s the time of the year to start compiling my birthday list! I cannot be anymore happier than I am right now! My Parentals, My Friends, My Boyfy, My Precious, My Life! I think people are already pretty envious with what I own right now. About time I TRY to NOT be so materialistic!

~you know you love me~
Michelle May

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Personality Test & Updates!

You Are An ENTJ

The Executive

You are a natural leader - with confidence and strength that inspires others.

Driven to succeed, you are always looking for ways to gain, power, knowledge, and expertise.

Sometimes you aren't the most considerate person, especially to those who are a bit slow.

You are not easily intimidated - and you have a commanding, awe-inspiring presence.

In love, you hold high standards... for yourself, for your relationship, and for your significant other.

While it's easy for you to impress others, it's hard for you to find someone who impresses you.

At work, you are organized and good at delegating. You understand how to achieve goals.

You would make a great CEO, entrepreneur, or consultant.

How you see yourself: Rational, calm, and objective

When other people don't get you, they see you as: Inflexible, controlling, and overbearing

I've always believe that the best way to discover more about yourself is by doing as many personality tests as possible. This one is kind of 75% accurate...

Anyways, I have some updates:

I've fallen in love... and i'm attached.

Nuha is back!!!!

Ili and Ann are leaving!!!

Padrekins left!!!

Soon Seng Birthday is coming real soon!!

Made new foreign friends; Chynar Ushmekova (Turkmenistan), Musaab Adam (Sudan) and Huang (China)

Pictures of KDUCF outing will be up in my Spaces blog!!! Till then,

~you know you love me~
Michelle May

Monday, August 18, 2008

Romeo + Juliet

I have no idea why I seem to be blogging a lot about love recently. For those who hates the new lovey-dovey soppy me, u can stop reading right now and move on with your lives. Being in love makes me feel happy and a converted idealist. I hate it. It’s so not me for those who knows me long enough.

To date, I loved every Shakespeare inspired movie. Especially Romeo+Juliet which was amazing in its own way. It all started with the 1998 movie, Shakespeare in Love which was tragic not to say the least.

I guess in a way, Romeo and Juliet has to be tragic in order for it to remain popular as it is now. Without the 2 star crossed lovers dying, it would be no point of the movie. Even for the movie Shakespeare in Love, the young Shakespeare couldn’t be with the one he loves, and from that, he wrote the play for A Midsummer Night’s Dream about mistaken identities.

Loving him has made me really happy. I feel that he’s my other half. We have so many similarities and yet enough differences for us to discover. He’s understanding and most important, he trusts me and that’s the main factor for a long distance relationship to work. I love it that he’s quiet and that he only opens up after the effort I put in to get to know him better.

He isn’t perfect, he still has his flaws. His language skill isn’t as good as mine but he has an amazing mathematical skills which makes him really smart. He thinks about the future and he has aspirations. He doesn’t have much social skills but I have enough for the both of us.

I think that it’s nice when you have someone to turn to when life gets a little too difficult to bear! His love is the kind that you can’t sleep at night, can’t focus, can’t eat, and all you can do is to count down the days that you’ll see him again! I have not been sleeping for days!

Being in love with him makes me a better person. I’m happier and I just feel like hugging everyone on the street!! It’s been a very long time since I last felt this way. In fact, I miss the feeling!! I love him so much!!!!

Te amor
Te Quiero
Ich Liebe Dich
Wo Ai Ni
Ngo Oi Lei
Saya Cinta Pada Mu

Let me quote Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, "What's in a name? That which we call a roseBy any other name would smell as sweet."

No matter what you call it, it’s still love. I know that we got together in such a hurry and I’m aware about the next quote, "Is love a tender thing? It is too rough, too rude, too boist'rous; and it pricks like thorn." Well, I hope this time it’ll last and I continue to bring happiness to thee...

Well, Padrekins left on Saturday to go back to NY. As usual, he left with a mission and a list! I need more grace. Hopefully, he gets me my stuff and the stuff fits perfectly. Sent him to KLIA yesterday and next Friday will send Ann and Ili to KLIA!! The following week, Robert is going back, and maybe Ah Gun will come back from India. Then life will be back to normal. Sadness! Normal with just Shi Nee, Soon Seng and I.

~you know you love me~
Michelle May

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

The 7 Things I LOVE the most about you!

1) I love the way you say my name.

2) I love the way your sarcasm makes me laugh.

3) I love that you’re so quiet but once you open up, it’s so worth it.

4) I love that you have no idea how smart you are.

5) I love it that you make me feel like I’ve accomplished something.

6) I love the way you have no idea how cute you are.

7) I love the way that you love me.

~you know you love me~
Michelle May


I’m such a worry-wart!! Maybe that’s the real reason I haven’t been able to sleep for the past 1 week! I think a lot. Like what I told Robert, I have a lot of stuff that requires my thoughts and therefore I’m sometimes really blur!

This happened last Sunday when we went out to 1U and Robert was talking for some time and when he finally asked me what I thought about the issue, I went blank because I haven’t been listening to what he was saying! It’s embarrassing!

Well the one thing on my mind is my PR major. Ever since I was forced to drop my Marketing major, I think PR is a poor choice. I mean, I don’t have many choices! Either I do a second major in PR or Media Studies. Now, PR is quite boring. It’s too theorical and I don’t feel the same enthusiasm like I did for Marketing.

Have you ever persevered in something you don’t like because of pride, self actualization and principles? I felt as if I’ve been doing just that my whole life! Besides that, switching my Major has enabled me to graduate earlier than expected.

For some, it’s a good thing. For me, I’m having mixed feelings. I’m not prepared for the working world and I have no idea whether I have the courage to just leave everything and go back NY. I meant, I couldn’t do it for Australia so what made me think I’m prepared to leave to NY?

I’m so afraid of the future. Not afraid, afraid per se but the very thought of me being independent financially is scary and it finally means that I’m all grown up and I have to make more adult decisions. I’m just worried what the future holds for me. I know I shouldn’t but I just can’t stop thinking about it.

My short term plan is to think about my graduation. Parentals is flying down to Perth for my graduation and I PLAN to do some soul searching in Sydney after the graduation ceremony. Intend to crash at Xavier’s place for a few weeks! Hahaha…

Anyways, just as you all know that I’ve started my classes! PR is boring but Doris is awfully endearing, and I haven’t attended Comm Research class because it was cancelled. The best class has got to be Consumer Behavior.

I felt right at home the moment I saw my friends from Africa, Ntawi, Lucia, Shadow, Kenny, Carol and Naledi. Plus Ying Hui and Soon Seng is in the same class and I’m in the same group as Chynar. She’s really sweet and she’s from Turkmenistan.

Besides that, the lecturer is Ms. Crystal and she’s awfully nice! Really enjoyed my CB classes so far. Best class of the semester! PR on the other hand is so theorical that it’s boring! Ms. Doris is experienced and she’s passionate (as in lives and breathes PR!) and because of her, I feel that PR is not my cup of tea!

Classmates in PR isn’t exactly my favorite kind of people. I meant at most my friends in mass comm. That I’m quite fond of is Kathy Lee Seul Ki, Wee Xiying, Yeap Sau Meng, Nick, and a certain few but definitely less than 10 people! The best part, I’m in neither one of their classes or they’ve graduated!

Oh, met up with Bree today and watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall. It was really funny! and we enjoyed it immensely! It was really fun catching up with her after so long. Though I didn't have enough time to kick her ass in Chots!

Well, pictures of Ili’s Birthday/ Farewell Party will be up by next week! Till then…

~you know you love me~
Michelle May

Monday, August 11, 2008

Sofireena's Wedding

My cousin (the most general term!) got married on the day that 100 over couples decided to tie the knot, on the 08.08.08. Their ceremony was only held on the 10.08.08 at the Kelab Darul Ehsan. For those who are confused right now, my father's side is a mix of British-Indonesian and Chinese. It's a long story and complicated one with many loop holes!!

We'll, no point dwelling and being obsessive about the past when we can celebrate our lives in the present and look forward to more happy occasions in the future!! It was a beautiful wedding. Full of love and the normal expected sanctity of a wedding. Reena was looking gorgeous in her gold and blue shimmering baju and so were her groom!!

It was a whole purely Malay wedding with "merenjis" ceremony and all. Then followed by a heart touching speech from Kak Lira and Illyia. Anyways, its just a beautiful wedding ceremony and Grandma Nomi and her sis was looking pretty wit a rose in her hair!!

Pictures at the bottom of the page in my
  • Spaces Photo Album

  • Till then..

    ~you know you love me~
    Michelle May

    Sunday, August 10, 2008

    20 YO

    I don't squeal anymore when I'm in the pool!!
    Instead, I opt to send SMS and make calls!!

    What happened to the girl who used to squeal in delight when her Padrekins took her into the swimming pool? 20 years have passed and the same little girl isn’t quite little anymore. She doesn’t squeal when she’s in the pool, she sends SMSes while she’s in the pool. Things has changed so much that she doesn’t even get excited when she sees a pool anymore.

    What happened to that little girl that used to wait outside the house for her Padrekins to come back from work so she could run up to him and he’ll swing her around and then take her to the playground? 20 years have since passed and the girl now sits in the house, furiously tapping on her lap top chatting online MSN while the TV is showing Desperate Housewives and on her phone headset making plans with her friend.

    That girl is me.

    While staying with Xiying, so many memories came back. After so many years, I finally went to a playground. I had fun skating, twirling and flying while playing at the playground. I didn’t need to beg my Padrekins to bring me there; I went there on my own. The next day, we travelled all the way to Kundang, Rawang for a congregational prayer and there was a huge pool. I just wandered in there and sent SMS from my phone.

    Time has sure changed. Just last month, me and Madrekins dropped Padrekins at the airport and 20 years ago, I cried and cried until Madrekins had to coax me to stop crying if I want Padrekins to have a safe trip. After that, we went to KLIA to pick Padrekins up and he has to carry 2 huge luggages worth of my books, food and clothes compared to 20 years ago when he just carried 1 medium sized luggage and greet us with a little blue dinosaur!

    I realized that I don’t really appreciate him. I used to run to him whenever he calls Sweetheart. Now, I drag myself, sigh, and rudely ask him what he wants. Why do we not remember happy times when we’re angry? And why do we hurt the ones we love most?

    There was once a little girl who was so lazy that she never helps her Madrekins to do chores. It was so bad that Madrekins have to do a division of chores just to maintain the house. 20 years later, the same girl is a Cinderella. She sweeps, clean, iron, mop, wash, and does all the chores without the need of Madrekins asking her.

    There was once a little girl who despises her Madrekins a lot. They always got into a fight. The kingdom was never at peace. The only time the kingdom was at peace was when the little girl and her Madrekins didn’t speak for day. Sometimes weeks! 20 years later, the little girl learnt about forgiveness and her Madrekins is her best friend. They go shopping every Saturday, they tell each other things and they hang out with each other’s friends. The kingdom is finally at peace.

    We were so different. They way we treat each other. Besides our DNA, we’re not that different from our parents. Heard the phrase, "Apples do not fall far from the trees?" Instead of inhering both of their virtues and value, we also unfortunately inherit their tempers. They guided me so I can face this world on my own. And for that, I’m grateful. Sometimes I tell myself, I should treat them better.

    Here’s a little parable to end my post. It may seem familiar because Petronas made an advertisement about it but I’m going to give it a personal twist. Just a few weeks ago, Padrekins took us to the orchard in Rantau, we got lost and I saw the signboard indicating Rembau and Manbau. I asked Padrekins where we were going and where were we. He said we missed the turn and we’re in Rembau now. Since the place sound almost the same, 5 minutes later I asked where we’re going. Padrekins said Rantau. After another 15 minutes, I asked him, “Why are we looking for directions to Rembau when we’re already in Rembau?” He patiently explained to me again for the 3rd time that we’re heading to RANTAU and NOT Rembau. Bear in mind that he was lost and cranky and he didn’t even raise his voice when I asked him to repeat the same thing 3 times. Normally, by the second time I’m supposed to repeat what I said to him, I would have already raised my voice at him.

    ~you know you love me~
    Michelle May

    Saturday, August 09, 2008

    Greater Things are Yet to Come...

    Let me first apologize for the recent ‘tsunami’ of emotional posts. I’ll try to keep this one a little upbeat. My life is back to perfection. Well, not perfect but how my life should be… perfectly.

    For one, I met a really interesting guy today. I don’t intend to elaborate on that but he’s ok looking and very friendly! I mean he seems really sincere and honest! And he makes a pleasant conversationist…

    I never really noticed Martin Yan’s China before until today!!! He’s hilarious!!! This is a gist of what he said during the show:

    1) I like squeezing chocolate!!
    2) I know I shouldn’t do this but I love going seez sag!! (Zig-zag)
    3) I have a dough here that’s already rosen… (it’s risen!)
    4) You can make bun!! A lot of bun!! (Obviously he got his singular and plural nouns all mixed up!)

    I actually took the liberty to count the number of times he said Pingyou (A province in China) in 15 minutes. He said Pingyou 20 over times in those 15 minutes!! It’s what I called family entertainment. It’s been a very long time that we actually sit down and watch a show together and laugh and have fun!! I’m not dissing Mr. Yan since English isn’t his primary language! I find his heavily tinged Chinese accent really funny!! Please watch Martin Yan’s China on afc Channel 703 every Friday at 9PM.

    We (Shi Nee and I) finally bought ili’s pressie!!! Its different and she’ll never expect it!! I won’t tell it here but this is the place you’re going to hear about it first!! Even before the birthday girl gets her gift!! I intend to upload the pictures before she even gets her present!! All I can say that, it’s not cheap and I want to take this opportunity to thank our greatest friends that chipped in to make the amount more economical for us!! So, thank you so much Anndrina Pooja Gomez (India), Chan Soon Seng (Hongkie) and Jean Chan Yuen May!!!! Ili, if you’re reading this, Shi Nee asked me to hint about her pressie!!

    Because of Shi Nee, we had to walk the whole of 1U and Mutiara Damansara looking for her Herbal Essences shampoo!! This is when I noticed that there’s a shortage of the above mentioned shampoo!! I’m down to my last bottle and I refuse to use any other kinds of shampoo!! I’m so worried!! I’m a loyal customer and besides, I just *HEART* the scent!! It’s like a garden in your hair!! And it’s refreshing!! If new stock doesn’t deck the shelves of Guardian, Watsons, Giant, Jusco, and Cold Storage anytime by next month, I’m writing a letter!!

    While looking at my reflection through AT’s sexy Samsung phone, I caught a glimpse of a little line (wrinkle!) at the end of my eye lids! It’s like, the ageing process has started!! I nearly screamed in KFC!! But since it’s a family place, I had to behave myself! Well, went home and applied Biotherm’s Line Peel (Thank God it was lying around!!) and now keeping my fingers crossed for the miracle of Thermal Plankton to work its magic!! I know I’m OCD but the fine lines on my face are just a big no-no!!

    I know something you don’t! Well, at least that’s what I like to think… That you don’t know what I know! I’m sure you’re all familiar with the gospel song Amazing Grace? I just found out that Grace is seriously AMAZING!!! Here’s an excerpt:

    Ephesians 2:7 ‘Even when we were dead in our transgressions, God made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places, in Christ Jesus, in order that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.’ Those who are saved in this age are used as an example of God’s amazing grace even in the ages to come!

    According to the Bible, the one reason God forgive our sins is because of grace!! Isn’t it AMAZING? Grace saves us. It was once said that, ‘mercy is not getting what we deserve. Grace is getting what we don’t deserve.’ (XY, aren’t you so proud of me?) (Ili, don’t be shocked!)

    I know I’m a contradiction but recently, I’ve fallen in love with a Gospel singers, Steven Curtis Chapman and Chris Tomlin,who's just so darn cute! (main factor was due to PASSION!) and also a really hard rock band called Avenged Sevenfold (They rock!!!!) If and when you’re free, give these songs a listen:

    1) God of this City – Chris Tomlin
    2) Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone) – Chris Tomlin
    3) Cinderella – Steven Curtis Chapman
    4) Dear God – Avenged Sevenfold
    5) A Little Piece of Heaven – Avenged Sevenfold

    Anyways, been a long tiring day and wait for my pictures of Sofireena’s wedding to be up on Sunday!! And my first day of back to college post!! Till then…

    ~you know you love me~
    Michelle May

    Thursday, August 07, 2008

    Positive Discrimination & Such...

    I learnt Positive Discrimination last semester in my Cultural Policy class. Well, in a nutshell, positive discrimination is treating a person differently but to benefit the person. An example would be our parents, not treating us equally as they would treat our brothers.

    As a girl, I can’t do as many things as my brother. I can’t stay out till late or at least not as late as my brother, I can’t hang out at the house of the opposite sex or I can’t even backpack. Well, I’m not talking about myself because my parents are cool.

    I’m talking about the other girls who are “unfortunate” enough to be born as a girl! It is believed that as girls, we would have more to lose compared to guys. I’ve always believed in gender equality. I personally do not need a guy to protect me.I'm not an invalid!

    I don’t need Prince Charming to fight my dragons; I can do that on my own. I’ve known lots of girls who would call AAM the moment they encounter a flat tire! I doubt they even knowhow to change a tire!! I also know girls who depend on guys to send them home because they’re afraid of driving alone late at night!

    Because of such incidences, people have the perception that girls are incapable of taking care of themselves. We all know of girls who are so afraid of the world and are incapable to care for themselves! In a way, such girls make ideal girlfriends. Their vulnerability fuels a guy’s ego that he has someone to take care!! Guys know that girls like that, are the type that will depend on them and are docile. Girls like that are just too annoying!!

    I understand that girls are sometimes more vulnerable but discrimination is still discrimination, no matter what. Period. I’m just so pissed that I got discriminated positively by my own parents!! Well, I guess I should be a big girl and just suck it up!

    Well, class starts next week. Or at least that’s when I decide to go back to class! Looking forward to Consumer Behavior, PR: Contemporary Approaches and Communication Research to kick start my semester! Well, wish me luck!!! Will be graduating next year!! No idea if I’m looking forward to it or I’m trying to prolong my studies!! I’m so uncertain about my future!! I’ve no idea on how to start my life!!

    Besides that, another issue that I hate about people is the ones that take advantage of others! Sad to say even my own family members do that. Taking advantage of a generous person is not only shrewed and low, but also disgusting!! I’m not referring to those little things like a free meal but I’m referring to those huge things like a free holiday, free life? It just downright disgusting that the amount of people who succumbs to such things!! I’m beginning to doubt if there’s any dignity in them!

    I’m glad that my parents raised me to be a strong and independent person. At least they did something right in their lives, they raised me well. Oh, I just have to gloat about my new wallpaper!!! It’s so hot, it’s kinky!! It’s a picture of Kate Moss in the kinkiest lingerie from Agent Provocateur!! Those who have no idea, Agent what? It’s a really kinky lingerie store that sells naughty, sexy lingerie and “toys” to fulfill your every fantasy! I’m soooo lovin it!!! (not that I intend to buy! I’m just merely admiring!) Till then…

    ~you know you love me~
    Michelle May

    Wednesday, August 06, 2008


    Despite Prometheus' warnings, Epimetheus allowed Pandora to open the box releasing all evil except HOPE. Those who aren’t familiar with this story, it’s one of my favorite Greek mythology. In fact, it was this very story that my love for Greek mythology was born. One of the evil released was LOVE.

    I personally think that love is indeed evil. Recent news is a man from Greece who chopped his girlfriend’s dog and threw its remains on the street and then beheaded his girlfriend because of love. How many other times have we heard that a person murder their loved ones? Depressing stuff!

    Love problems affect almost everyone. A glance for the girl/guy that we’ll never have, the best friend who wants to be more than friends, the love unrequited, the constant wonder and sign reading whether he/she loves them back and let’s not forget the exciting but forbidden love and the purest, sacrificial love that hurts so bad.

    In every person’s life, they would have experienced either one of the love”woes” mentioned above. Yes, I admit that on some rare occasion that God really loved 2 people so much that He brought them together. But the other majority of the world’s population isn’t that lucky.

    I’m sure every girl would have dreamt that a guy would come along, sweep her off her feet and the very much in love couple will celebrate their union and have little princes and princesses and live happily ever after. But what happens when the novelty is gone? When the spark and romance is replaced by sacrifices, understanding, unconditional and most of the time frustrating demands of life that will overcome the love you first felt?

    Ever heard of the Money & Happiness parable? There were Love, Wealth, Health, and Happiness. They go home by home and the home owners have to choose only one to welcome into their homes. Obviously, everyone welcomed Wealth but Wealth would always decline and they will move on to the next house. At the end of the street, an old lady answered the door, after explaining themselves the old lady decided to welcome Health, but her daughter-in-law advised her to invite Happiness instead and Happiness was welcomed in the house but behind him, he was followed by Love, Wealth and Health. When they asked Happiness why are they following him into the house when he said only one could enter, Happiness answered, “With Happiness, Love, Wealth and Health follows”

    People often lose sight on what’s really important. They think that a relationship or a marriage is enough as long as there is Love. However, it’s far from that. For a relationship to work, you’ll need more than Love. You’ll need understanding, sacrifices, patience, and faith. I’m going to share a few of my favorite quotes from Shakespeare about love.

    “For aught that I could ever read, could ever hear by tale or history, the course of true love never did run smooth” – A Midsummer Night’s Dream

    “Is love a tender thing? It is too rough, too rude, to boist’rous and it pricks like a thorn.”-Romeo and Juliet

    Simple love lessons from the man who wrote the most romantic plays and literature. Shakespeare may be known as The Bard but in his defense, education, poet, writers and literary geniuses are sexy!

    To love sometimes, we just need to go back to the basics. The basic is just one simple word, the word is Trust. You have to be open to the possibilities and the reasoning behind every action. You need to be able to give and yet not expect a return, let everything go and fall unsure about who’ll catch you and lastly, make life changing decisions knowing that he/ she will be there to support you at the end of the day or just be there when things didn’t work out as you’ve planned.

    People often want the most beautiful things. Unless you intend to put your girlfriend/ boyfriend in a display case, looks is the least important. They don’t have to be perfect either. You don’t need perfection. Nothing is perfect. I learnt that the hard way. But perfect should be the question whether is he/she compatible with you or not in terms of perfection.

    Lastly, for the girls are the little things. Girls are suckers for the little things. Many guys don’t understand that it’s the little things that’ll make a big difference! The little things such as buying her lunch and dropping it at her place when she’s busy, notice her gestures when she speaks, Knows her friends by their nick names, support her causes, respect her beliefs or principles no matter how silly they may sound, remember her favorite songs, and lastly, just surprise her once in a while.

    Maybe love isn’t that complicated!! We just lost sight on what’s really important.

    ~you know you love me~
    Michelle May

    Tuesday, August 05, 2008

    Pre and Post PASSION and Sushi with Family

    XY finally took me out for dinner and had Red Rubies which was good nearby her house!

    It was a huge serving, enough for 2! Greedy me!!

    On Sunday, we had a Congregational Worship at M.B.S in Kundang, Rawang... Very serene place!!

    AT was there.. Well, he HAS to cause he's in the same church!

    and so is Mr. Kenny and Lik Ee who's sharing a very "personal" thing here..

    After that, we attended PASSION at Sunway Convention Centre and i had a very good time!! Sat with Mr. Ken and all i recorded was Mr. Ken's shoutings!! lol!!

    The founder of PASSION: Mr. Louie Gigli

    The amazingly cute and talented Chris Tomlin... Really enjoyed his songs especially God of this City!!

    I can't remember his name... If any knows, drop me a line... He was good as well... Loves his solo!!
    Post PASSION is photo time!!! This is with SS!!
    Had to take 3 times with Mr. Ken because he was making funny faces!! Then he did "jumping" shots!! really funny!!!
    Had to wake up really early and rushed to 1U to meet Shi Nee Lee and to satify my Belgian Waffle craving!! This is taken at Chocolate @ 1U.. Cost around 14.90 MYR
    This is Shi Nee Lee's Pancakes with Sultanas and Pistachios... Not bad.. I love the presentation.. Beautiful isn't it?
    For lunch we had Sakae Sushi after picking mom and Kishant up... Went to Bangsar Village for Sakae.. AND SHE pigged out!! hahaha...
    Kishant and his sushi overload look!! Never they had so much sushi before!!
    It was so funny that we were all arguing to pop the sushi into our mouths!!! Eating sushi has never been this fun!! We all had to pop the sushi into our mouths at the same time at the count of 3!
    We ate this much!!! Total cost of sushi for 4 people inclusive of drinks and 3 jellies was 120MYR..
    It was very filling and sushi overload... We've collected enough receipts to apply for the privilege card... Can't believe we and them had 500 MYR worth of sushi in 3 months!!! Well, another great excuse to overload on sushi again!! :)
    PASSION was really enlightening especially Gigli's story on Ashley & The Fruitcake... And after so long finally had a serious conversation with Mr. Ken... And we were out the whole day!!! Woke up at 7-ish and travelled to Kundang, Rawang for Congregation and still managed to arrive late!!
    MBS was so beautiful!! so peaceful with the pools and greens!! After that, went to Centrepoint for a little while to chat and to wait for Yoke Kheng for transport to Sunway... Met Yuney, Michele Chin, Phoebe, Yee San, Pei Ling and loads of other people that I have not met since I last left school!! PASSION finished earlier than expected and had supper at Asia Cafe and arrived at XY's home at 12-ish.. Great day but extremely tiring!! Till then...
    More pictures can be found at scroll all the way to the bottom to my PHOTO ALBUM section.. ALL photos are there..
    ~you know you love me~
    Michelle May

    The 8th Deadly Sin- Deception

    The 7 deadly sins namely Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy, and Pride and I’m guilty of only 6 sins. Strangely, deception and lies isn’t one of the “cardinal sins” which is shocking because ALL humans lie. I guess I still have a little bit of conscience because I actually feel bad when I lie… especially when I lie to people I care and I love.

    The lies I’m referring isn’t those little white lies like, “I’m already on my way” while you’re still at home or, “yes, mother? I’m in class” while you’re shopping or watching a movie kinda lie. The lies I’m referring to are major cardinal lies that hurt others badly.

    I always justify my lies… I lie because I’m technically, indirectly, sortta, kinda and in a way, protecting my loved ones. I cannot bear to see them hurt. I’d rather hurt myself than them anytime. Another thing that I HATE is the fact that I constantly know things that I shouldn’t know. Or at least what people think I don’t know.

    Before I even know a person personally or officially, I already know a lot about that person. A few months ago, I met this person A and when I remarked what I know A, A was shocked!! I mean, this is a random stranger that has no idea who I am!! It gets a little creepy sometimes but it’s all part and parcel of my major.

    I recently stumbled upon a web of secrecy from my friends and family. This may sound that I’m overreacting but I really feel deceived and lied to. I know that they have their reasons and they’re afraid I might get hurt or I would like to think that they’re protecting me. At once, I feel like they’re all fakes and I hate liars!!!

    Shi Nee and I had a lengthy discussion about these topics over the most heavenly Chocolate Belgian waffles and Pistachio and Raisins Pancakes over at Chocolate in 1 Utama. Somehow, I guess I should find my peace. Find a way in my heart to forgive them. The worst part is the acting because I have to act as if I’m clueless!

    Acting comes naturally to me and I’ve perfected the art of Freeman. But can you imagine acting in front of your family and friends? 2 lies don’t make 1 right? Lol!! They started lying to me and I lied right back at them… Believe me, it doesn’t feel any much better! The web of lies just got even more complicated.

    Maybe Shi Nee is right since she’s the “Voice of Reasoning” as she likes to call herself! Maybe I need to end this. Confrontation has never been my forte or my cup of tea! It’s innecessantly rude and much too hurtful to both parties. Haven’t they learnt? NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, LIE TO A LIAR!!!

    Sigh. Going to miss my 1st week of college since Mr. Benedict isn’t my lecturer this semester and he won’t bug me to attend his classes!! Intend to rest and seriously treat Precious to really long, relaxing, energizing and peaceful walks!! Plan to keep the Idiot Box off and escape to Dante’s Divine Comedy, Suskind’s Perfume, Shakespeare’s Midsummer Night’s Dream and Romeo and Juliet, and last but not least, my recently acquired Cody’s Messiah Code.

    By the time I start college, I’ll be fresh and peaceful. Hopefully by then, I’ve found my peace and forgiven those involved. In a way I feel for Erik from Leroux’s Phantom of the Opera when he travelled from Mazenderan to Constantinople because he knows too much… Till then…

    Have been out almost every week celebrating friend's 21st and social events... Feel awfully tired and this week will be clubbing to celebrate the Mink's 21st/ farewell and next week is only the party. My parents are going to murder me!! Its either I went home really late or I didn't go home at all!! It'll be over once the Mink leaves... oh, PASSION pictures will be up soon!!

    August 8: Ili's Clubbing
    August 10: Sofireena's Wedding
    August 16: Padrekins going back to NY
    : Ili's Official Birthday/ Farewell Party
    August 22: Ili and Ann leaves Malaysia

    ~you know you love me~
    Michelle May