Sunday, August 10, 2008

20 YO

I don't squeal anymore when I'm in the pool!!
Instead, I opt to send SMS and make calls!!

What happened to the girl who used to squeal in delight when her Padrekins took her into the swimming pool? 20 years have passed and the same little girl isn’t quite little anymore. She doesn’t squeal when she’s in the pool, she sends SMSes while she’s in the pool. Things has changed so much that she doesn’t even get excited when she sees a pool anymore.

What happened to that little girl that used to wait outside the house for her Padrekins to come back from work so she could run up to him and he’ll swing her around and then take her to the playground? 20 years have since passed and the girl now sits in the house, furiously tapping on her lap top chatting online MSN while the TV is showing Desperate Housewives and on her phone headset making plans with her friend.

That girl is me.

While staying with Xiying, so many memories came back. After so many years, I finally went to a playground. I had fun skating, twirling and flying while playing at the playground. I didn’t need to beg my Padrekins to bring me there; I went there on my own. The next day, we travelled all the way to Kundang, Rawang for a congregational prayer and there was a huge pool. I just wandered in there and sent SMS from my phone.

Time has sure changed. Just last month, me and Madrekins dropped Padrekins at the airport and 20 years ago, I cried and cried until Madrekins had to coax me to stop crying if I want Padrekins to have a safe trip. After that, we went to KLIA to pick Padrekins up and he has to carry 2 huge luggages worth of my books, food and clothes compared to 20 years ago when he just carried 1 medium sized luggage and greet us with a little blue dinosaur!

I realized that I don’t really appreciate him. I used to run to him whenever he calls Sweetheart. Now, I drag myself, sigh, and rudely ask him what he wants. Why do we not remember happy times when we’re angry? And why do we hurt the ones we love most?

There was once a little girl who was so lazy that she never helps her Madrekins to do chores. It was so bad that Madrekins have to do a division of chores just to maintain the house. 20 years later, the same girl is a Cinderella. She sweeps, clean, iron, mop, wash, and does all the chores without the need of Madrekins asking her.

There was once a little girl who despises her Madrekins a lot. They always got into a fight. The kingdom was never at peace. The only time the kingdom was at peace was when the little girl and her Madrekins didn’t speak for day. Sometimes weeks! 20 years later, the little girl learnt about forgiveness and her Madrekins is her best friend. They go shopping every Saturday, they tell each other things and they hang out with each other’s friends. The kingdom is finally at peace.

We were so different. They way we treat each other. Besides our DNA, we’re not that different from our parents. Heard the phrase, "Apples do not fall far from the trees?" Instead of inhering both of their virtues and value, we also unfortunately inherit their tempers. They guided me so I can face this world on my own. And for that, I’m grateful. Sometimes I tell myself, I should treat them better.

Here’s a little parable to end my post. It may seem familiar because Petronas made an advertisement about it but I’m going to give it a personal twist. Just a few weeks ago, Padrekins took us to the orchard in Rantau, we got lost and I saw the signboard indicating Rembau and Manbau. I asked Padrekins where we were going and where were we. He said we missed the turn and we’re in Rembau now. Since the place sound almost the same, 5 minutes later I asked where we’re going. Padrekins said Rantau. After another 15 minutes, I asked him, “Why are we looking for directions to Rembau when we’re already in Rembau?” He patiently explained to me again for the 3rd time that we’re heading to RANTAU and NOT Rembau. Bear in mind that he was lost and cranky and he didn’t even raise his voice when I asked him to repeat the same thing 3 times. Normally, by the second time I’m supposed to repeat what I said to him, I would have already raised my voice at him.

~you know you love me~
Michelle May
xoxo

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