I’m dead. Lost and falling deeper and faster into a dark abyss. As I fell, I asked God to give me love and show me the meaning of life. Falling into oblivion, I was so sure about whom I am until you found me. You brought me back to life.
God didn’t just give me love or gave me happy feeling but instead He gave me an opportunity to meet you and instead fall in love with you. I’m no longer falling into an abyss but falling for you. Somehow, you just make me feel happy and most importantly, I feel loved. Maybe I haven’t said it to you but I Love You. Ich Liebe Dich. Te Amour. Te Quierro.
Anyways, I’m so happy that malls are flooded with moon cakes. When I was younger, Madrekins used to tell me that, “Girl, when you see moon cakes everywhere that means your birthday will come soon!” I used to get real excited when I see moon cakes!!
Believe or not, I’ve never had a birthday party growing up. Padrekins were never around so normally grandma and grandpa will throw a little family celebration. It wasn’t a sad attempt but it was meaningful. Now, with my beloved grandpa gone and grandma is sick and old, my birthday is just an excuse for dinner with grandma.
Dinner is just Chinese food and not what I would normally eat but it’s what grandma would eat. I’m not complaining, Just that I love grandma a lot and petty little sacrifices such as eating her favorite food on my birthday is ok and I do it willingly.
There’s something that’s so enthralling about turning 21 that I feel it’s so overrated. I mean, in this 1 month, I attended 3 21st birthday celebrations! Everyone is like making it as if 21st birthdays are a MUST for big parties and all!! What about people like me who has no interest what so ever in celebrating my OWN 21st?
I just don’t feel like it, not because I’m anti social, but Ili and Ann isn’t here, Boyfy isn’t here, Grandpa isn’t here, and maybe the most is just a little lunch with Shi Nee. That’s all. I’ve never had a birthday party before and I have no desire on knowing what I’m supposedly “missing” out on! I’m still thinking really hard what I want for my birthday.
Padrekins went back to NY often and got me lots of stuff and there’s nothing I would exactly want in Malaysia anymore! Maybe I’ll want something practical… What I want the most is a hard to find CD of Templeton Thompson. And maybe a Coach pretty little enamel bracelet! Or maybe an iPod since mine is almost dead!
If not it’ll probably be books again! It’s ok but it’s affordable for anyone who wants to get me a gift. I seriously need to reconsider my options. I need to be less expensive… Even Xiying is planning a big do that consist of a tea party and girly stuff! Even Parentals are asking what I want to do for my birthday! Sigh.
It’s the time of the year to start compiling my birthday list! I cannot be anymore happier than I am right now! My Parentals, My Friends, My Boyfy, My Precious, My Life! I think people are already pretty envious with what I own right now. About time I TRY to NOT be so materialistic!
~you know you love me~