Friday, February 06, 2009

Wallowing in Self Pity

Once in a while, i do enjoy wallowing in self pity. I have everything I've ever wanted except maybe that Jimmy Choo flip flops or Radley Passport Cover but everything that is supposedly well is not what i've planned.

It comes a time i don't even know what i'm doing or how I got here. It's like I successfully managed to blank out my whole childhood. I forgot how much my Dad loves me, I forgot how supportive he's been, I've forgotten him.... Maybe he's no longer the man he once was... Or the man I once knew.

I'm also feeling like a fool for thinking that a person like me can take chances. At the end of the day, the realist in me knows me better. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve some things in my life. I don't deserve to be loved. Now, I'm just more confused that ever. Did I just fall in love with him all over again? or will I ever love him the way he loves me?

V-Day is coming real soon and I have to work extra hard to fake a smile and be happy. I'm not jealous, don't get me wrong but i'm just wishing that he's here to be with me. But then again, I chose this road and I must walk it.

~you know you love me~
Michelle May
xoxo

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