Saturday, January 23, 2010

Stop!

Stop fcuking trying to figure out what's going on with my life because you know what? I don't know what's going on with my life too!!! Stop trying to figure me out and stop trying to understand what I'm going through...

These are MY issues, and like you've brought me up, I handle my own issues. Yes, I may cry in my bed alone because it's so frustrating, but I know I can handle it on my own. I've been doing it since forever... I handled my own high school, tuitions, enrolments, college graduations, taking care of myself and etc...

I never needed any help then, what made you think I need help now? As an adult, and the responsible one, I know my responsibilities and that is why I don't come home drunk, wasted or do drugs in the house. I respect my parents but unfortunately, they don't respect me.

The whole issue is because I came home late and I got pissed and I'm not talking them. Have you ever experienced, your mom scolding your friend (which is her own colleague's daughter) for sending you home at 1AM on Friday when it was you who didn't want to come home earlier because you told your mom that you'll be home at 1AM? Well, that's not the first time. The first time was she screaming at the neighbour.

She's a woman and when my dad calls her when she's out late, she gets so pissed off at my dad. And here she is, doing the exact same thing to me and worst. I thought that all this while, I let her into my life, (I tell her who my friends are, what I'm doing, who I'm hanging out with, etc!) she would trust me but I guess, not. She doesn't. If it's about the whole accident shit, I wasn't driving.

What gets me even more pissed off is when my brother gets to go out whenever and come home whenever, drunk! And you don't find her, outside the house screaming at whoever that brought him home. If that's what it'll take for me to go out at night, I will do it. She doesn't know that I can do all these shitty things, come home drunk, smoke in the house and etc... Trust me, I can do it, but I choose NOT to do it. Why? For the respect I have for my family and because they trust me. (Or so I thought!)

Now, it's not the matter of her yelling at my friend, it's more of principles. I don't get mad easily and this time, she just went too far. If I'm going out with random people she doesn't know, I can still understand. What is beyond me is that I'm going out with people she knows!!! She knows them personally and even their families.

Now, I have to handle my graduation shit. After switching my major, I ended up with 71 points. In order to graduate, you'll need 72 points. After talking to the guy in charge, they will give me a general credit of 1 point for me to graduate.

I have to see my lecturer in order to know if they had given me the 1 point and if I'm eligible to graduate in March. Well, it's not an option because I NEED TO GRAD in March. I just need to handle all these shit. Everyday, I'm sending e-mails (and not getting any reply!) I don't think that they're aware that I find it extremely rude if you do not reply your e-mails.

I'm looking for a job because I need to get out of this house. I need to punch somebody right now because it's just so mothafcuking frustrating that my life is filled with fcuking irritating douchebags. It's frustrating when things don't go your way and more shit keeps turning up. You just don't know which shit to clear...

I'm doing all this shit and at the same time, I'm angry because my gums from the stupid wisdom tooth is still swollen! I don't know what to thank for making me lose weight (the swollen gums, thinking too much, or too many problems) but I'm just gonna thank all of the above. Haven't been eating too well because of the stupid tooth and can't sleep peacefully at night because I'm constantly thinking of what to do and overall, it's just too fcuked up right now.

All this crap is taking up all my energy and time and it's draining me. When I see FB, I see so many fcuking stupid people saying the most stupidest things. I'm not sure if it's me (because I'm feeling crappy!) or it's them!!! I'm seriously refraining from being a bitch right now.

I think I'm going out for a breathe of fresh air and maybe go punch something!!! Shit!!! I'm turning into those people who complains about everything on their blogs!!! No worries, I'm too fly to be depressed... Will bounce back real soon!!! :)

~you know I fcuking hate you right now~
Michelle May
xoox