Saturday, May 26, 2012

Down, down, down, down, down...

Sorry for the lack of updates, I'm depressed.

No matter what I do, it's never good enough.

If only I could stop trying.

I'm praying for my dreams to be real.

If only.....

Only God knows what's in my heart.

My God, Jesus Christ is so GREAT, that He will not let idiots be pebbles on my marble, He will not let those who has issues with me, taunt me. He will put me above them.

It's not about education, or power or wealth or nationality, it's about my BELIEVE and FAITH in Him that He will not forsake me. EVER.


~you know I'm feeling down!~
Michelle May

Thursday, May 03, 2012

Africa - What You Didn't Know.

Just type Africa-Malaysia in Google and you can hundreds, if not thousands of post about how "evil" and "wicked" Africans are and "menace" and "nuisance" they are, in Malaysia. Well, like I always said, Racism Makes Me Sick. I recently read an article titled Africans In Malaysia and I feel so disgusted at fellow Malaysians.

Firstly, I have the authority to speak on this issue because I've been working with a lot of Africans in Malaysia and my 15,000 words dissertation was on political instability in West Africa and ECOWAS. I've also written numerous essays and carried out researches on West Africa and my interest in the African CONTINENT as a whole has made me knowledgable in the field. I really hate it when simple minded Malaysians ask me why would I bother doing my dissertation on Africa or why do I even hang out with Africans. Let me tell you this, at least Africans do not judge you for who you are and they are not racist like most Malaysians. Thanks to factors such as language, the amount of Chinese friends I have can be counted in 1 hand.

Secondly, we cannot generalize them by saying that Nigerians are all up to no good, or Ghanians are menaces... I'm sorry, it doesn't work that way. If you have such thought, I'm sorry to say that your tiny, little brains will not be able to fathom future into my writings. You need to have an open mind, that if Africans are bad, how about Asians, Arabs and Whites? There will always be people who are going to do bad things. By saying that a certain race is responsible, are we eliminating all other probabilities of a different race? For example, when we say that girls from China are prostitutes and home wreckers, you mean that girls in Malaysia don't do such things? In fact, prostitutes are everywhere, not only from China. Likewise, if you say that Africans are all crooks and criminals, you're completely ignorant of the fact that our "beautiful" Malaysia is home to all these crooks and criminals. The article mentioned that Africans or "Awang Hitam" are pimps, clearly, he's blind for not seeing the Chinese, Malay and Indian pimps all over Bukit Bintang.

Thirdly, he mentioned that "They  are doing nothing but abusing our hospitality and taking advantage of our openness." He has serious racism issues as his article was about Africans being pimps, how has them, being pimps contributed to "abusing our hospitality and taking advantage of our openness?" I see no linkages and as far as I'm concerned, most Africans are not into crime such as robbery, rape or snatch thieves in Malaysia, most of these acts, are carried out by Malaysians themselves. Since they're doing "nothing", why the accusations about them doing all sorts of crime? I was robbed by an Indian and yet, I do not go around saying nasty things or generalizing that all Indians are thieves. I still love my Indian sister till death and I still respect and treat every other Indians with respect. 

Fourthly, He mentioned that even though Malaysians are involved in crime in all parts of the world, Malaysians are "not part of any official programme bringing our slime into those countries." Little does he know that, because of our Malaysian slime, the visa-free travel to Britain was revoked and it's all thanks to the 20,000 over Malaysians who overstayed, doing "nothing but abusing the British hospitality and taking advantage of their openness" Oh, by the way, he needs to clarify and define "hospitality" and "openness" because from where I see it, Most Africans are stigmatized by our "hospitality" and "openness". Please, show me proof of our "hospitality" at least. Malaysians are a bunch of racist bastards hiding under the facade of unity and 1Malaysia. 

Lastly, he mentioned that "If they are here as semi-permanent residents for reasons other than as students or bona fide businessmen, then it is time our government took a firm decision and pack them home before they cause more trouble and misery here." Don't we all just love it when people generalize us? Why don't he tell the government to deport all the Indonesians who somehow are considered Malaysians entitling them to the "our" benefit through Project IC? These people are using our resources that tax paying citizens like us work hard to contribute to the economy. I have nothing against Indonesians as Indonesia is part of my heritage and I was just making a point. 

I hate it when people judge and stereotype others. Treat others the way you want to be treated. How would you like it, if you're in a foreign land and people are mean to you just because you were Malaysian? Take the latest news of Indians and Chinese getting assaulted by Australians, would we like that? Even with those racist thoughts, how different are we from Hitler? It all starts with a thought, a thought is a powerful thing because our actions, is based on our thoughts. 

While we have no problems grovelling and trying to impress those Whites, who are we to say that they are saints? As long as they are whites, they don't rob, murder and kill? They are not criminals? Why do we always treat the whites better than the way we treat our own people? I hate those people. These Whites could be sweeping the side of the roads at home and when they come to Asia, they are treated like kings. Especially the girls in Asia, they would do anything for a white man to the extent of degrading themselves and it is DISGUSTING! 

I have many African friends who are hard working, studious and friendly. Maybe, if we weren't so caught up in our bias-ness, get to know them. Just because the fucked up media here keep printing stories in the name of "investigative journalism", get your head out of the box. Talk to them and get to know them and stop reading and posting negative comments about them just because they don't look like us. 

I've always blamed racism with upbringing. Clearly, some parents forgot to instil tolerance and acceptance into their child or maybe their child got dropped on their head when they were younger. But, it is every parent's role to instill racial tolerance and acceptance into their child. I have to apologize for the unusually long post with no pictures but I have to find a way to get this out. I'm sick and tired of humanity... at least in Malaysia. 

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate anyone or any race. I hate racism. Are we not all equal? Don't we all have 2 eyes, 1 nose, and 1 mouth? even if I have less, am I not human? Humans are at the top of the food chain because they have the brains to think, to make decisions and have thoughts, I find animals have more "humanity" than humans. In China, a monkey was seem saving a puppy, dogs are friendly with cats, and even tigers can care for piglets. How about us, we are humans and we can't even care for each other. We can't even treat each other with dignity and respect. Aren't we lower than animals? 

My fav quote is "No voy a gastar mi vida siendo un color, soy raza de mil colores!!!" means that "I'm not going to spend my life being one color, I'm a race of a million colors"

You can hate me if you want, I really don't care. If you hate me, then, fuck you! 

~you know you love me~
Michelle May

SpongeBob Obsession

After clearing out all my junk, I finally have a little place to put all my SpongeBob goodies!! I actually have more plush toys, I have Gary plushie, Mr.Krabs and SpongeBob... I generally have most toys if it was a SpongeBob toy... hahahahaha!!

~you know I'm weird~
Michelle May

Tuesday, May 01, 2012

Excited But Scared

Being a foreigner in a foreign land, what can I say? I'm excited because it's an adventure but I'm scared, what if the people are mean? Leaving all sense of familiarity is somewhat, scary. 

I miss my familiar smells of my room, the creaking sounds at night, my dog barking and the little hugs that my dog gives, whenever I come home. 

He is always patiently waiting till I come home. Whenever i come home, even for a few minutes, he gets super excited and craves for attention and hugs and pets. I guess, I will miss him so much!!! 

It's always fun to explore new places and Daejeon seems interesting enough. Everyday of my Summer is filled with something to do, Taewondo classes, Hiking, Korean Cinema, Korean Language, Korean Fashion, COEX, all sorts of things... 

I'm sad to leave the comforts of home, The Cocker Spaniel, The Guinea Piggies, The Familia and The BF (not in any order!) and living in KR for Summer is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I hope everything will be A-OK!!! 

Till then...

~you know you'll miss me~
Michelle May