Thursday, July 11, 2013

A Secret of Love

Today's post is going to be quite lengthy and before I start, I want to give a brief introduction on the topic. You see, my title is A Secret of Love, supposedly written by Brad Pitt and it describes his relationship with Angelina Jolie, I assume. 

A Secret of Love was written by the actor describing his wife after her double mastectomy and how they were at the brink of divorce. She was absolutely depressed with life, lost a lot of weight and constantly crying. He decided to do something about it and what struck me the most about the article was just this line, "A woman is the reflection of her man."

This post has gone viral on Facebook and other social media and there's so many issues with the article that I began to doubt, if Brad Pitt actually wrote it. If you want to read the article, HERE'S THE LINK!

I'm writing this, to say that this is very relevant in this selfish world, where everything is all about "ME! ME! ME!" The article was clear that "what you do for your woman, will be reflected to the world". So, will you be the type of man who constantly puts her down? or are you the man that motivates her to be her best? What kind of man are you? 

I'm truly blessed to have a man that motivates me, pushes me to my limits and love me unconditionally. People like that are endangered species. In a way, he's my Brad Pitt and I'm one very lucky girl. My man is the reason why I'm relatively successful in life and I'm passionate about my self. 

If you've noticed me before, I was terrible. I felt like I was a stray dog, dirty, ugly, living was to survive another day and now, I feel like I've found a home that feeds me everyday, send me to doggy spas and most importantly, love me for the scraggly mutt that I am. 

After I completed my Degree, I was ready to SETTLE. Settle means accepting whatever card that is dealt to you. I was ready to work in a pet clinic (Even though I loved my job!) for the rest of my life, earning less than 1600MYR. 

I felt like, this is the best I can do. I'm not exceptionally smart, I'm average and I'm not Miss Malaysia beautiful, I had very bad acne all over my face and I was fat. I felt absolutely horrible about myself. 

Until I met my, now, Fiance. He pushed me, challenged me, motivated me and supported me. You know what? Over the years, he changed me. I blossomed. Despite feeling so intimidated and scared, I went ahead and signed up for my Masters. Not in any boring, old, NORMAL subjects, but in POLITICAL SCIENCE. 

When I had to write my dissertation, he challenged me, "Why write about Asia? You've lived here your whole life and you know everything about it, It's too easy" and so, I ended up writing my dissertation on HIS country, Nigeria. My dissertation was on the Economic Development and the Role of ECOWAS during the Sierra Leonean War. I wrote about politics, security, economics and stuff that most people won't be able to understand. 

Don't get me wrong, he didn't force me to do everything, but his way of doing things was to be super excited for whatever I accomplished and in a way, it made me WANT to do more and push myself. Upon graduation, I got an interview with UNHCR and he was so proud of me, telling me that I will be working there and celebrated it.

When I was unsuccessful in UNHCR, he told me that it was an accomplishment, it shows that I am good enough that they wanted to talk to me so many times and even if I didn't get in, I should be proud because UNHCR don't just call people in for interviews. 

Now, I'm a lecturer and he couldn't be any prouder. He tells everyone what a wonderful lecturer I am and if he had his way, he would tell THE WHOLE WORLD that I'm a lecturer. In return, I feel a sense of pride in what I do and I strive to do better and I'm very happy with my job. 

In a way, he's very much like my mother because they share the same trait. My mom is as motivating and loving as he is and it's safe for me to say that, he's the only one that loves me as much as my parents do. 

I blossomed in so many ways unimaginable to me, I feel confident because teenage kids (I keep referring my students as my kids!) can smell fear. Confidence is being able to walk tall and being absolutely sure about yourself and being confident enough to "FUCK SOCIETY". Back then, I was the anti Christ to the society's standard of beauty. Now, I feel beautiful because I realized that as a woman, you can never be skinny enough, you can never be pretty enough and that's why I do not conform. 

I could be Miss Malaysia and there will be people saying that I'm fat, I have cellulite and I'm ugly. Well, real women have curves, breasts, cellulite, wrinkles, laugh lines and a good amount of tummy. I stopped letting society dictate if I'm pretty or not, I tell myself that I am pretty and The Fiance will never let me forget that I'm beautiful everyday. 

Now, I feel like a million dollars and it's all thanks to The Fiance and my family. Truly, I am one very lucky girl. In conclusion, Men, please treat your woman the way you want to be reflected. Putting her down just shows that you're insecure and you're acknowledging that she's capable of being better than you, hence, you have to put her down everyday by reminding her how ugly she is, how stupid she is, etc. 

This world is not about "ME" and being selfish, we share this world with others and the world will be a better place if everyone wasn't so selfish. Let's start at home. Let's have a healthy, loving relationship so that you'll feel a sense of fulfillment. 

I want to to end this by saying that I thank God everyday for my family and my Fiance. Amen. 

"She is the most beautiful woman on earth and I was the one allowed to fall asleep next to her every night" 

Till the next time!

~You know I read~
Michelle May

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