Friday, August 30, 2013

Being A Fiancee

You might not realize it, but there's a lot of difference Pre-Ring To The Finger and Post-Ring To The Finger. It's really subtle at first and then, before you know it, you're no longer the same person. Well, same - same, but different. 

1) To Still, Hold His Hands When You Feel Like Killing Him.
Pre-Ring, I could just ignore him until he apologizes but, Post-Ring, I have to talk to him and I can no longer ignore him. The worst part is, having to care for him even when he made me so fucking mad, I could chop his head off with a cleaver instead of preparing dinner for him. Well, unless something like The Purge happens, I will be cooking dinner instead of attempting murder. 

2) You Have To Be Faithful, Even In Your Dreams. 
I need a disclaimer before I proceed. I DO NOT HAVE WET DREAMS. I HAVE, OCCASIONALLY STIMULATING DREAMS. Pre- Ring, I could be stimulated via dreams but Post-Ring, the damn ring even appears in my dreams and any stimulation doesn't happen. I can't even kiss a hunk in my dreams. I once had a dream that Jason Derulo proposed to me and when he was about to slip that 10 carats diamond engagement ring on my finger, I was already wearing my ring. And then, I got dumped by Jason Derulo. 

3) Walking Out On Him Is Not Permissible. 
Pre-Ring, I walk out on him all the time. Every time we have an argument. Most of the time, I'll be at my favourite bar drinking my liver away. Post-Ring, I can't do that anymore because, if I do that, It seems pretty stupid that I would walk out on him while I'm supposed to be getting ready to marry him. If I keep walking out on him, will I walk out on him after we're married? So, when ever we have an argument, I would just go to my room, have a nice shower, have some sleep and then, talk to him  about it. 

4) You Have To Be Classy
Pre-Ring, I dressed really sexily and I would flirt and I could talk to anyone and I could be really trashy. I could talk to guys and we would just flirt and play (Non sexual) all the time. Post-Ring, I'm FORCED to handle myself like a proper lady. I don't just open my mouth and speak to any Tom, Dick or Harry. Flirting doesn't exist in my vocabulary and I've learnt to speak sensibly. It does make me a very boring person but it helps with my work because I learnt how to speak like a lady, full of grace and class. Oh, the way I dress, I wear my skirts long enough to be respectful and short enough, to be sexy. 

5) You Have To Be Domesticated
Pre-Ring, I don't clean the house nor do I cook. I was the ultimate in being an Undomestic Goddess. I didn't know how to cook and I don't clean his house. Post-Ring, I cook dinner occasionally and I keep the house tidy, I don't clean it but I keep everything neat and tidy. My cooking skills is not up to his standards yet but I'm learning everyday. The reason being, I get tired of eating out everyday and when we have kids, I would want my kids to eat home cooked food. 

6) You Have To Change Your Lifestyle.
Pre-Ring, I am a night owl. I could club the night away, I could strip, and I could drink. Well, actually, I was great at all three! I was living the life, I was popular, I had a bunch of great friends, and I was having fun. One particular incident was being so intoxicated, I was dirty dancing with some Iranian dude, almost stripped and woke up in an unfamiliar place, smelling like the Iranian dude, a throbbing headache and next to a guy. Turns out, I was sleeping with my friend's younger brother and in his room. Again, nothing sexual happened. Post-Ring, I haven't been clubbing since I met him. I don't even know any recent clubbing events / whatever that happening in the clubs now. Sometimes, I do miss it. I do miss the lifestyle but now, I'm willing to give it all up for him. 

7) You Have To Accept Criticism.
Pre-Ring, I DO NOT give a fuck about what you think of me. My favourite line was, If you love me, thank you, If you hate me then, FUCK YOU. I planned on keeping it real and I vowed to never change myself for anyone. If they love you, they should love you for everything you are and also, everything you're not. Post-Ring, you have to learn that criticism is not bad, it's constructive criticism. In order to be one (heart), you have to give up, part of yourselves and he has to do so too... Two hearts cannot be one if they're separate, so, you and him, have to give half of yourselves up. Post-Ring, I've learnt to cook, clean, stopped clubbing, became Christian, and behave more sensibly and rationally. 

8) You Have To Include Family
Pre-Ring was really blissful because there were just the both of us in this whole world and nothing else mattered. Post-Ring, you need to include family members in everything! We have dinner with my mom occasionally and recently, his sister came back and yea, that's it, pretty much. I really do miss the good old days where no families get involved. 

9) You Have To Be Tolerant.
Pre-Ring, I was constantly complaining about him, He's always tardy, too stubborn, too annoying, too disgusting and I could go on and on. Post-Ring, I learnt how to tolerate and handle him better. For example, if I want him to be on time, I make sure that he's getting ready 45 minutes before the actual time. When he's being too stubborn, I tell him that "You're entitled to your opinions, I respect your opinions, so, please respect mine"

10) You Have To Be Patient.
Pre-Ring, I used to yell at him all the time and we use to have all sorts of arguments because I'm a very impatient person. He will get the nagging of his life if he ever does something wrong. Post-Ring, I just keep quiet and be patient with him. I managed to cut down the fights and arguments by at least 70%. 

~till the next Being A Wife~
Michelle May

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