Saturday, October 25, 2014

Pre Wedding Thoughts

When we first decided to get marry, and when we started shopping for bridal shops, there was still 9 months. Then, it became 6 months, then, all of the sudden, it was 26 days and now it's 14 days / 2 weeks / 13 sleeps before I'm officially a Mrs. before God and men. 

On one hand, I'm so excited and ecstatic and on the other hand, I'm scared as fuck. Scared that time passes by so quickly and for 9 months, I've been a zombie!!! I don't know what has been going on and I'm just trying to juggle, taking care of my health, planning the wedding and being Lecturer of The Year. 

Being a "mommy" to so many kids (my students) it made me feel motherly and I want my own kid. I never wanted kids and I'm absolutely terrified of babies and I still think that animals are waaay cuter than babies and this unexplainable feeling of being a mother is so new and weird. 

I don't know how to handle this feeling. I really want a baby so badly and I'm terrified that I'm going to be a horrible mom. SHIT! I just want to get rid of these load in my heart. 

On a happier note, all the reservations of getting married, all the cold feet, all the questions about if, he's the right guy has left my mind. What is on my mind right now is, he's the man I want to marry, grow old and have babies with. He's the one I want to start a little family with. 

How? I feel peaceful and calm and the 1.5 months apart really put things into perspective. 

1) I know for sure that I'm OK being alone and I'm not marrying him because I'm afraid of loneliness. 

2) I'm able to focus on my job and I'm not hung up on him. I can be independent as well as be with him. 

3) I trust him. Being 10,000 miles away from each other, 2 different continents, my day is his night, and I trust him. ENOUGH SAID. 

4) I miss him and I yearn for his hugs, kisses and touch. 

5) I love him. My heart skips a beat whenever I receive a call /SMS/ Whatsapp from him and the highlight of my day is still when we Skype. 

If I still have reservations about marrying him, I cannot bring myself to walk down that aisle. But, I don't and I cannot wait to marry him, be his wife and start a family. 

OK, I think that's all the issues in my heart now. 

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Wedding Cake Topper

So, I just bought this Yes To The Rose Cake Topper from Wedding Karren Malaysia and it was absolutely lovely!!! 

The Hubby loved this because he always gave me roses and my fav flowers are beautiful roses as well! Hence, we felt this topper represented us!

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Red and Pink

It was my birthday on the 8th of October and I felt pretty shitty because, this is the first year that The Hubby isn't around to celebrate with me. He always made me feel special like my first birthday party, short trips and I don't even know how to celebrate my birthday on my own after 4 years. 

Some friends don't even understand what I'm going through and well, I don't expect them to understand. It's really hard when The Hubby isn't around.  The worst part, my health has been deteriorating since The Hubby left. 

Tony Roma's bought me a birthday dinner and walked around in Pyramid and when I got home, I saw this huge red and pink bouquet on the table. And my dad was like, "Oh, that's yours" and I was so surprised!!!!

The Hubby doesn't even know his own address and I don't even know how he remembers my address to send the flowers to me. 

Anyways, it really made my day and I love you endlessly too, my love! 

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

ENYA MAREINE- Actual Day Gown Selection

This was the first dress I tried on and I loved the length where it's comfy enough to dance, but what I didn't like about it was the slightly off shoulder/boat neckline that doesn't seem to flatter me but instead draw attention to my fat arms and the lace panelled back where you can see my "fei chee yuk" (pork fats) 

This was the second gown and it's pretty but half of my boobs are out! You can see 50% of my breasts and 75% of my longkang.

This dress is pretty but I need to cover up for the church and this dress is quite sexy and I kinda love the fairytale train and ball gown! And I need to see how it fits after alterations.... Sigh. Still no perfect dress. 

I'm not a fan of mermaid cut dresses just because I don't have a mermaid figure. I have a lot of awkward curves and random edges. I haven't decided if I'm daring enough to wear such a sexy and curvaceous dress!

I look like Beauty & The Beast that went wrong! I hated everything about this dress! From the color to the design!

I cringed at the color at first but the fit was absolutely perfect! I may not even wear a white dress and choose this gown instead! It's not too revealing but the color is very Indian. I'm not being racist but yea. Even though everyone said that it looked gorgeous on me..

This dress is just OK. Nothing to shout about and no WOW factor. It's just a simple dress I would wear to a product launch or black tie event.

I didn't like this dress because the color was simply terrible! The design looks unique but I still love something classy and clean.

This dress really put the glamour and drama that I expect with its clean lines and the fit was absolutely perfect, like it was made for me. It was demure and sexy at the same time and it was perfect! It even suited the purple/lilac theme of the wedding!

You've seen the pictures, Now, tell me your choices and I will pick it for the church ceremony and the dinner reception.